And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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