yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Randomize