bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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