My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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