he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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