oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize