Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize