she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize