youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
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