Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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