I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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