i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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