My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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