People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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