So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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