just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
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I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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