no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
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They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
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So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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