once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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