What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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