He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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