In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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