who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
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My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
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Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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