when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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