I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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