I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
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its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
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currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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