the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
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just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
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There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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