ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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