last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize