Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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