Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize