I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
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I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
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You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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