Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize