I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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