The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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