Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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