I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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