I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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