There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
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My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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