It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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