try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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