I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
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we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
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There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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