be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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