; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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