I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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