Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize