i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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