I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize