I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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