I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
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His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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