Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
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bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
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These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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