Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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