It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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